Assembling the Vampire Relics in South Park The Fractured But Whole – Episode 34

Assembling the Vampire Relics in South Park The Fractured But Whole – Episode 34

December 11, 2019 1 By William Hollis


Aw dang, do I really have
to use a ticket for this crap? Jammed tickets? Maybe I can just find them? Did what? What are you talking about Bertie? I’m getting arcade tickets. Why was it removed? What the hell’s going on? I’m actually supposed to play the
games or can I just, can I you know not have to win it or whatever? Yea, this is the thing the kid wants. Five? That’s a lot, I have two. What do you mean? Why’s your body still here? Ok, well what should I do? Oh you can… Wait, what? What, what? Oh god, I missed. I can’t believe I actually
have to play this fricking… Wait, can I shoot–? Oh. Oops. Oh you can shoot any of these. Do I wanna shoot that? So confuzzled. Just shooting everything, good lord. So you can freeze? How absolutely bizarre. Bang, bang, bong. Why don’t I just keep freezing? That’s like free… time or whatever the heck. Shoot that. Oh geez. Wait, how many points do
I need? You didn’t say. Did you? Why is this necessary? This is so ridiculous. Pew pew pew. Wait, I got a ticket. For doing what thought? Why? What? Hmm? Do you need like a thousand points for a ticket or something? Is that what that means? I don’t get it. Oh well. Even this is taking awhile. I got three. Ok. Wait. Hmm? O…k. I’ll try… Ugh, gotta do a lot more though. I wanna get that bear for that kid. I’ll try… I’ll try to do it. Ok, now I have 15. Think that should be enough. Unless there’s some other cool
stuff to get but I don’t really want to get it. Too much work. Yea So I’ll just get… that. Gonna get that. Robbing you blind? Oh right dude, have this stupid… I… Wait. Hmm? Are we… Ok yea. I was like, “Are we taking the picture?” Yea, look at you. I did that. For you, Calvin. Ya appreciate? Ok, now take a picture. Sheesh. Winkleman? Ok whatever, I got my mission items. Now I can go… Uh, why’re you guys… What, hmm? What are you doing here? I thought we already got it. Seriously? So I guess I do have to come in here. I’m working on it. God, you guy could you know, help me out or somethin’. Oh god, that’s TNT stuff, right? But I can’t move it though. What’s the point of
this? Is it just blocking my way or something? Oh I can’t walk through here. Why’d you push me? Uh well darn. There’s a lot
of stuff happening here. Take a picture with Black Bart. Do I wanna take a picture with Black Bart? Didn’t do anything. [laughs] Ok. Not actually what’s supposed
to be happening here. Oh, it exploded on its own. Ok. Cool. How’d I get that treasure up there? Ah, via this route. Why did I get more arcade tickets? Could’ve used that before I came in here. Oh geez, I’m on fire! Good lord, could’ve died right then and there. Um yea, I don’t think I was supposed to do that. So, try to glitch that back first. At least I don’t think I’m supposed to do that. I don’t know if you can do that or not. Like can I push it through light it on fire, and continue pushing it? Is that a thing? It’s not… Oh maybe it’s fine
‘cause it’s on top of it. Uh did it… Hmm? K. Maybe I’ll just do it myself then. Whatever. It’s fine! I don’t need your fire. I can make my own fire. Wait, hold up. There’s something up there. Ok I see. So much… So much work involved. Just give me the items. Now I don’t even know how–
Wait, hold up. Walk on the other side. Oh for the love of god. This is gonna take forever just to get like
probably something that’s not even that great. Alright, what’s the item? Yea, I don’t know what that’s for. Some kind of recipe for some kind of item. Ugh, who even knows if it’s worth it or not. Hey, I’m on this side now. [laughs] Does this actually work? That’s hilarious. You totally cut the
line by going to the other side. Having a great time. What? What is this for? Oh it’s just blocking my way. Great. Who said ew? You’re too far from the fart ok. Wait, there’s something down, isn’t there? Wait, how– It’s flipped over now. There’s something down there. I see it,
it’s shiny. How’d I get down there? Oh, how very interesting. Oh god, it’s a whole… whole ordeal. This is the most involved thing ever. Can I explode both of these?
I can’t move it from this side. What the hell? Skeleton face. Shortcut, I suppose. What… is going on with this? Oh, what the hell? What? Huh? Hmm? How’d I…? Hmm? Huh? Do I need the cart or something? Why is this all so unnecessarily complicated? What? Bullion? Is it just money? I just came here for money? What even the point? Is this a trap? It looks like a trap. [hissing sound] W-w-what? Oh ok. I was like, “Is this a trap? Where’s the trap?” You’re neither a vamp nor a kid. Sure sure sure. Man, we’re surrounded. There’s so many. There’s too many of them. Yea. Oh god. Bat wings. Argh, there’s so many. Where do I even begin? What’d I even do? Ugh, I cannot do your move Cartman. I cannot use you. I wanna switch characters. What, no, hold up. Do not, man. No. We don’t have time for that. Stop it with that bs. It’s ok, you don’t have even as much health as the gorilla, I think. And we kicked his ass. God, there’s just so many of them. I don’t
even know where to begin to take them out. Yes, darkness. [laughing] Pretty goth. So goth. Imagine if we can actually nab all
that gold. Oh, what are you doing? Medic. You’re reviving again? I can’t let that happen even though it’s only one character. They’re weak but like damn them, they
keep sucking and they keep protecting. They suck. Damn vamp kids. Yea, burn baby, burn. It’s like, it’s never gonna be our turn
‘cause there’s just so many of them. Oh no, what? Godammit. I really need my revive all move right now which I don’t have. Dude, shut up. No reviving for you. How can I? How can I get all of them in here? Yea, like that. Can you stop talking so much? I swear to god. Stop making all your stupid comments. You’re just jelly of my netherborn powers. Dammit, they keep reviving. Um, dead Mysterion, you still have… a thing. Oh, interesting. You can return to life and heal adjacent allies. Hmm. Can I get both of you in here somehow? Aw man. You can’t even walk over
where there’s a dead body. Damn, it’d be really good if I get both of you. Crap. Well I think you’re kinda more
hurt, so I’mma heal you. Return to life, Mysterion. You’re like a vampire too. Except you can revive yourself. Why is there naked ladies here? He’s like “Naked ladies! Aw but I got” “stuff left to do. I gotta go back.” Well, you’re beating up fourth graders so think about what you’re doing. Dude, I gotta get rid of you ‘cause you
make the most annoying comments ever. Netherborn black magic. Goddamn, he does way too much damage. [laughing] Team Edward. Damn, you’re still at full health, man. What the heck? Hmm. Well I can’t attack you, so I can only attack you. Unless I wanna heal. I might wanna heal actually. Heheh. Heals and attacks. Bonus. Yea you’re right, bonus. But now they’re gonna revive. Goddammit! Oh no, I didn’t notice the other one there. Son of a–! Eh, you’re gonna die right away. Can you…? [sighs] Probably not. ‘Cause I suck at using your move. Can I take out all… two of you somehow? What are you doing? Well,
you’re not gonna do it. Mmm. Should I do this one? Let’s do this one. I can’t take out that one though ‘cause
you’re standing there, Henrietta. But I’ll take out this dude. I can’t. I hate that you can’t do it ‘cause they’re
standing there. Come on guys. It’s a, it’s a… It’s a time fart, you know. I’m not technically there. I shouldn’t be bounded by the rules of physics and… whatever. Why are… Gotta walk around this stupid ass rock. That dude needs to find his own hobby aside from the game that little kids are playing. Finally. It says no running in the fricking back. So can I nab all these items? Skull of sick burning. It’s not even that much. And it’s all crap. Alright, that’s it. What’s beyond here? Oh. Oh. And it’s locked again? Well that’s dumb. Alright guys, we got everything. First vamp kids, we’re also not vamp kids. This is so stupid but at the same
time, he’s like trying so hard to set up a fun game for the kids,
so you can’t really hate him for that. Guardian angel? Are we fighting your sister too?