Sexy Vampires – Key & Peele

Sexy Vampires – Key & Peele

November 24, 2019 90 By William Hollis


(seductive music) (hissing) (hissing) Brothers and sisters. (hissing) Tonight, the newest
member of our family will feast for the first time. (hissing) Ophelia, bring the new blood. Ah, brother Tyrell,
welcome to the first night of your new end, what
are we wearing here? Oh, I’m just wearing
what I got bit in. Okay, do you have
anything black? Or pants with laces up
the side of the leg? (hissing) Just so you can
still see the skin. (hissing) No, that’s not my style,
so I ain’t got none of that in my closet
or nothing like that. Okay, anyway, we will
tonight all feast. (hissing) (laughing) (whimpering) (hissing) (seductive music) (hissing) Come on, man. (hissing)
Excuse me? I’m just saying, y’all
over here licking and hissing and whatnot. If we gonna eat,
then let’s eat, damn. Yes, of course,
we will all feed. (hissing) (hissing)
Okay, that’s enough. Spread the meat. (hissing) (gasping) (hissing)
(biting) (gurgling)
(thumping) Did any of that actually
get in your mouth? ‘Cause I mean, nah, shoot, no wonder y’all is
hungry all the time. (hissing) (seductive music) No, see, look why
do y’all gotta hiss when you flashing your fangs? You know you can make
your teeth come out without doing all that nonsense. See?
(clicking) (clicking) And can you two get a room? Seriously, y’all live
in a damn mansion. There gotta be some other
place you can do that shit. I mean, are you
two even lesbians? I just don’t understand
why everything gotta be all sexual and licky. Girl, seriously
man, you gotta get your hands up off me
before I fuck you up. Shit is nasty, creepy as fuck. Been touching my
nipple for 15 minutes. All this shit y’all
is doing up in here, this is just
straight-up gratuitous. I got bit on purpose
so I could live forever and see future cars. Yeah, Cyrus, these
pants are uncomfortable. And I actually have a boyfriend. And this song has been playing
for two years and it sucks. (sighing) This just seems desperate. Okay, desperate,
really, Tristan? It’s Christian.
Really? His name ain’t even Tristan. So do you all feel this way? Yeah, yeah.
Kinda. Wow, it’s like you can’t
even get good friends. No? You’re not even, okay, and you’re
leaving now, that’s– I mean, you know
what, dawg, seriously? You could fix this place up,
it’d be dope, though, for real. Are cars gonna be able to fly, or is everything going to
be on a magnetic track? I mean that’s what I wanna know. It’s not big deal. This O negative
tastes like pennies. Oh, I’m sorry about, baby, hey. Come on, now, nipple
play is for private time, we talked about this like 20 minutes ago, girl.
All this life we think we’re living is just a dream, and when we wake up,
we remember all– This is such bullshit, you guys.