SungWon Cho (ProZD) And The Horny Vampire’s Curse | Ep.1| Live From WZRD FULL EPISODE

October 12, 2019 0 By William Hollis


Greetings, viewer. You are watching
WZRD, the student run broadcast network of East Gatewood
Community Wizarding College, a US news and report top 100 ranked
two-year associate magician’s degree program. Up next is a new
semester of my favorite, favorite talk show, Live from WZRD,
bringing you the latest in campus news,
events, and special guests. I’m Dean Doug, the dean
who was turned into a dog by an evil curse. Now here’s life from WZRD! WZRD. Yeah, out there
Mike Eagle’s a rappin’ dude. And they don’t know that
I go to a magic school. It ain’t Atlantis. It’s La Crescenta. Studying magic is on the agenda. We got special guests
that will impress. But shout out to my crew,
because they do it the best. We got Ronnie, Carla, my home
girl, Tree and me on WZRD. WZRD from East Gatewood. Hey, what’s up everyone? We’re coming to you live
from WZRD, East Gatewood’s student-run broadcast studio. First show of the new semester. As always, we’re going
to be bringing you the latest EDWCC
news and events. And if you’re a regular person tuning in
on channel 619 in La Crescenta, welcome. We’ve got a non-magic
celebrity guest coming up that I am sure
you’re gonna enjoy. But first, I’m your
HOST Open Mic Eagle. This is officially my seventh year as a
student at East Gatewood. I remain unable to graduate due
to an ongoing credit dispute with the school registrar, an
unfeeling demon of some sort. Believe me, though, my
wizarding is hella advanced. Oh, you want blue? Well, there you go. It’s good to be back. We got our producer,
Carla in the booth. How we doing, Carla? Hey, as long as I’m in the
booth doing what I love to do, you’re gonna get zero
complaints from me. What about you, Mike? How’s your music going? Glad you asked. Pretty good. My new album, “What Happens
When I Try to Relax” is out now. You can catch me on tour– Oh, I’m here, sorry. Sorry I’m late. This school is so confusing with
all the branching passageways, and illusions, and everything. Oh, are those floating cameras? That’s right. Cool, huh? Look at these
chairs they got us. That’s the guest chair. I’m Dani. You’re Mike, right? Carla, what am I
looking at here? What is this? This is Dani Fernandez. She’s new to the
school this semester. I literally just found
out that magic exists. So I’m, like, freaking out. Uh-huh. So this is, like, what,
this is the show now? Uh, well, as producer, I asked Dani
what aspect of television production she was most interested in,
and she said hosting. So yeah, it should be fun. You know I don’t
like new people. This is very upsetting. Let me just say that
this is an honor. And our guest will be here
shortly, but first, here’s an important message
from the dean. Hold up. You can’t just come in here
reading my lines off the teleprompter. Greetings, students. It’s me, Dean Doug. I know what you
might be thinking. What the heck? The dean of my school is a dog? Incorrect. I’m a human who was cursed
a long time ago to take the irreversible form of a dog. There’s just a few important
things to remember. Number one, most of the time,
I’ll be in my office doing business. But number two, if I’m out and
about on campus, by all means, stop and give me a little scratch hello. You might think as a soul of
a man trapped inside a dog I wouldn’t want strangers touching me. Wrong again. I’m not gonna sit here
like a good boy and smile because I don’t want pets. I want them. And frankly, I need them. I can’t reach these spots. Number three.
Hold up. What’s that in your hand there? A ball? OK, listen, we got rules about
bringing balls into school. Because I get one sight of a good ball,
brother, let me tell you, I got to have it! Number four. Look, don’t sneak up
on me while I’m eating. I might bite your ass. [GROWLING]
It’s happened before. And every time it
does, it’s bad. It’s all instinct,
and I can’t help it. And that’s it. Oh, wait. Also gotta watch out for curses,
dark magic, and battle trolls. Stuff like that. You know, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, goodbye! He’s cute. Look, if you ever see the dean
present his belly to you, just keep walking. It’s a 57-year-old weird ass
man, and you are in no way obligated to rub his tummy. Uh, so you must, like,
know everything there is to know about
this place, huh? I know some things.
That is so helpful. Because I’ve so many questions. Like, obviously, I’m taking
intro to Spell Casting, but should I pair that with– Carla, I don’t think
this is gonna work out. Oh, no, no. It is. You just need time to gel
and get to know each other. Give it a shot. [SIGHS] Fine. So what’s up? Who are you?
Thank you, Mike. I thought I might get
asked that question, which is why I spent time
over this weekend preparing this short film. Roll it, Carla. What the fuck? A couple months ago, I was just
like any other non-magic loser. Writing professionally, co-hosting a
successful pop culture podcast, moderating panels at Comic-Con. But then one day a few
weeks ago, I received my results from one of
those online DNA tests, and that’s when it happened. I found out I was 1/8 magic. Apparently, you’re supposed to get
a letter about it when you turn 13, but mine was accidentally sent to a Spanish
footballer that has my name. I was shocked. My parents aren’t magic at all. I mean, my mom was pretty good
at bowling, but that’s about it. As soon as I found out,
I dropped everything I was doing to pursue
a wizarding education, and East Gatewood was the nearest,
cheapest school I could find. I’d never studied magic before,
but after all that’s happened, I can’t help but wonder does
some great fate await me? Let’s find out together. Pretty good, right? All right, look, being a wizard is
not what you think it is. New students show up here like,
“huh, maybe I’m Harry Potter. Maybe I’m Gandalf.” No. We just regular people, dog. You can get straight A’s, get the degree,
but your destiny as a wizard is probably gonna be some boring
ass life paying your bills. That’s all this is. Ain’t fighting balrogs. Ain’t no hero shit. Right. Yeah, sorry to break it to you. But in terms of bills, though,
I can, like, make my own money. There’s wizard’s on
staff at the Treasury Department and all the major banks. They have spells to counter
your counterfeit spells. Right. Can’t have wizards print unlimited money. Inflation would be out of control! So what do you use magic for? I brew my own beer. So I use magic to regulate
the temperature of my garage. What about you, Carla? Oh, I’m not magic. It’s the darndest thing. Both of my parents were magic. That’s how I got accepted here. But I guess I got
the recessive genes. No offense to myself, of course. I would say I’m something of a
tech wizard behind the boards. So. [GROWLING] Cool. Let’s go to commercial. All right. Chill, Carla. We’ll be back with our
celebrity guest right after this. I need this.
Sorry. Yeah. OK. We’ll be back with our
celebrity guest right after– I’m sorry, did you want to go? I thought you were saying–
you were pointing towards me. I did, but that was a mistake.
I meant to point at me. OK.
OK, so I’m gonna do this one. Are you ready?
All right. We’ll be back with our
celebrity guest right after this. I’m Dani Fernandez. I don’t know if your name
was needed right there. Come on down to our annual
blood drive next week! 100% of the blood you donate
will go to a real doctor, or something along those lines. We will not be drinking
your blood, nor will we be writhing
around in it naked. That is a promise. [STOMACH GRUMBLING] So goddamn hungry. But that’s– that’s
not about this. Make sure to sign our waiver. It’s all standard stuff, actually. Why waste time reading it? So come on down and bring
that blood with you. You’re not doing
anything with it. Please do not consume garlic of any kind
up to 24 hours before donating. Hey, Mike. I just wanted to say, I’m really
sorry for interrupting the show. I know I came in kind
of hot, and I didn’t mean to throw you off your game. Yeah, it’s cool. No, I’m actually really professional,
and I have experience doing this. So I thought we’d make
a really great team. You know, me being me
and you being grumpy. I mean, not usually. I just didn’t expect
somebody to be barging in. Whoa, what is that? Oh, since we have a
lot of space down here, the school just tosses
all kind of stuff down here that
they’re not using. You know, magic mirrors,
enchanted wardrobes, all sorts of mystical stuff
nobody’s interested in. Whatever that is, though,
I’m sure it’s dangerous. Yeah, or it’s calling us to begin
some kind of magical quest. Dani, no. Nothing good has ever come
from enchanted furniture. All right, you two, the rooms
are ready for the summoning spell. Woo. What are we summoning? Did you see it, though? Woo. Those are cool. Yeah, careful with that. And we’re rolling in three, two– Welcome back to the show. So this season, we’re trying
something a little different. I wanted to get more interesting
non-magic guests on the show, so I whipped up a spell
that will summon the closest regular human celebrity
right here to this chair. Whoa, we can do that? Absolutely. OK. Summon up, summon up, summon up! Comin’ up, comin’ up, comin’ up! The fuck? Where– where am I? Where are my kids? Agh! Oh. Wait, does that always happen? Uh, that’s the first
time I tried it. I’ll just run it back.
OK. Summon up, summon up, summon up! Comin’ up, comin’ up, comin’ up! What are you, warlocks? I mean, yeah. I don’t know why you’re putting
that negative inflection on it, though. OK, OK. Oh. Third time’s a charm.
Give me a little energy this time. Maybe we can–
OK. –Get him settled. Is this right, OK? Sure. OK. Summon up, summon up, summon up! Comin’ up, comin’ up, comin’ up! What do you people want? Just wanted to ask you some
questions about being a non-magic person. You know, like in a human
interest sort of way. Oh, and you can ask me stuff too. I grew up non-magic. And feel free to help yourself to any
of the snacks at craft services. I just ran to Costco this morning. I just don’t feel comfortable. Oh, OK. I have something for this. Chillissimo outissimo. [SIGHS] Cool studio. What was it you
wanted to ask me? Uh, what’s up? It’s going OK. Any funny vacation stories? So these questions kind of blow. Did you not prepare
these beforehand? That is correct. Honestly, I’m not very
familiar with your work. OK. Well, I’m SungWon Cho. I’m a voice actor. I do stuff on YouTube. And I am a human. Not sure what you guys are. We’re wizards. Wait. What is this, some
Hogwarts shit or– We don’t deal with any of that wealth wizard
propaganda around here. Yeah, it’s very classist over there. Do you wanna see a
cool trick I learned? Spells. They’re spells, not “tricks,” thank you. Well, OK, check this out. Woo! It’s tuna. Do you want some? They’re kind of
hard to give away. Not particularly. OK. I guess I have it. He took it. So I understand
that you do voices. Can we try to stump you? I don’t think I have
much of a choice. You do, though.
Great. OK, I’ve got one. A depressed vampire that’s
also incredibly horny. I am very sad, but I wish
I could get some dick. I don’t know. I like it. What about an owl who just
found out he’s not the father? Then hoo is? Convincing. So our camera guy here,
Ronnie, is a goblin. I noticed, yeah. Can we do an impression of
what a goblin sounds like? Is that technically racist? Are you OK with that? [CHUCKLING] OK. Look at me. I’m a goblin! Woo. And you’re at a carnival. Look at me. I’m a goblin, and I’m
eating cotton candy. Impressive. Does that sound
like you, Ronnie? Huh? So lifelike.
Nailed it. It was like he was here. And there you go, folks. Bringing magic and
non-magical culture. That’s a cool moment. Let’s see what’s up
around campus this week. Do you have time to stick
around for one more segment. Well, when I was magically
transported here, I was with my
children at the time. And you know, they were
looking right at me. So it’s got to be pretty
upsetting for them. And the longer I’m missing,
the more profound the trauma will be. So no? Eh. What’s the next segment? Our sentient tree wanted
to ask you a question. Our what? Yep, I’m a tree with thoughts. You’ll get used to it. How’s it going, SungWon? Hi, there. What’s up, tree? ProZD, you’re most well
known for your comedic work. Have you ever thought about
branching out into dramatic roles? [CHUCKLING] Oh, god. Too acorny for you? [CHUCKLING] Oh, I actually do
have a question. It’s that crate. Dude, we should go
over and look at it. Telling you, leave it alone. Do– do you wanna go
look at the crate? I’m gonna need more context on
the crate before answering that. I just– I’m gonna
go take a peek at it. I just– Dani. Dani, trust me. Dani? Dani, don’t open it. Please. Whoa. Some kind of crystal orb. I can feel its power
coursing through me. It’s kind of powerful. It burns a little bit. Mike, Mike! This will not end well. We’re gonna send you back. Do you wanna
remember any of this? Not in the slightest. Forget. But where am I? Who are you? Agh! Bounce! And we’ll be back right after this. Hi, it’s me, Aiden again. Treasurer of the East
Gatewood Vampire Club. We’ve had a blood drive recently,
and basically, no one showed up. It’s like just because we’re vampires
doesn’t automatically mean we’re going to drink the blood you donate. [SIGHS] So weak, so tired. Sorry. So we’re doing it again,
another blood drive. Yes, I know it’s intimidating to
wade through a crowd of 30 loitering Draculas just to get a needle
stuck in your arm, but trust me, most of them will be so
weak and confused, they’ll be like little
lambs in a clover. Maybe you have too
much blood in you. You ever think about that? If you don’t show up, we’ll be
forced to go house to house. And believe me, you
don’t want that. Come give blood next week. We’re Counting on you! I lost a tooth. Please come to the blood drive,
or we’ll be forced to go house to house, and you
don’t want that. All right, that is our show. I wanna thank Carla in the booth,
and my new co-host, I guess, Dani Fernandez. It’s so beautiful. Dani, you’re the chosen one. I’m Open Mike Eagle, and
we’ll see you next week. You’re really great, Dani. And that’s a cut! Great job today, everyone. [BELL RINGS] Get out of here. Dani, you’re the best host, Dani. Dani?
Yeah? Can I take a look at
that thing for a second? Oh, just be careful,
because it’s– Yeah, I’m gonna be
very careful, OK? Yeah. Gotcha. That’s not cool. Oh, boy. What do you think it does? Oh, I don’t know. There’s a lot of
magical orbs out there. What we should do is ask Tree. It’s the wisest and
oldest being around here. That’s right. I’ve been growing to this
school for over 200 years! [LAUGHTER] Does he always talk in tree puns? What, what? Seriously, though, you have any
idea what this orb is about? Is this gonna put a
curse on us or something? We need to know. Hm, magic artifact of great power. Maybe you should feed it to me
and see if anything cool happens. No. Come on. It’s not like I’m gonna
harness the power of the orb to take grizzly revenge on
mankind for the centuries of industrial slaughter of
my brothers and sisters. [LAUGHTER] No, we gotta go. One day, the trees
will have their revenge and we will at last
taste human flesh. What was that? I said, good show today. Oh, all right. Well, what are you
gonna do with it? Only thing we can. It’ll be safe in this orb containment chamber,
until it can be destroyed. Destroyed? Yeah, I gotta call it in. It’s this whole thing. Well, I mean, I thought that
I could use it to, you know, make me a better student. What? Or defeat some type of hidden evil. It took me weeks to
summon my first tuna can. You’re fine. See you. Dani. Dani. Dani.