The McElroys Go on a Ghost Tour

The McElroys Go on a Ghost Tour

October 24, 2019 100 By William Hollis


[Griffin] Who wants to start talking? [Justin] Hi, everybody. I’m…
[Griffin laughs] Hi, everybody.
My name is Justin McElroy. I’m Travis McElroy. – We don’t have to all
introduce ourselves. – Just introduce yourself.
– I’m Griffin McElroy. – This is my dad, Clint McElroy,
and we’re gonna go on a ghost… No, this is…
– This is our friend, Bobby. I’m Bobby McElroy. Nice to meet you. Bobby’s gonna take us on a tour of all the
most haunted spots in all of New Orleans. What’s the name of it, Bobby?
The person after us… – That is the Old Ursuline Convent.
It is the oldest and finest surviving piece of French colonial architecture left
in the continental US. – And it’s chock block full of ghosts.
– Vampires! – Okay.
– Even better! [Bobby] The first rule for my company is,
please do not audio or video record this tour in any way.
– Shit. Sorry, guys.
– Shut it down. Shut it down.
Shut it down. [Bobby] I ask you do not spit, pee, puke,
or anything else out of your bodies onto other people or their belongings
while you’re with my tour. [Griffin] Are we counting ghosts as people?
– [Travis] Good question. – Yes.
– Oh, you’re one of those! A liberal! If you become possessed,
can we attack you? Uh, I wouldn’t recommend it.
– Oh, okay! – If I become possessed,
you have to kill me. – That’s not a question!
– I know. – Who’s the judge of whether or not
you’re possessed? Or just faking it. – They know me pretty good.
You guys make a judgment call. I don’t want them to kill me, ’cause
it’ll fuck ’em up for life, but you look… – But he seems too eager,
but I’m gonna follow his lead. – Okay. I will say it,
but I won’t off him. I don’t have the guts. – Okay. And that’s on film,
so we’re good. [Griffin] Bobby, can I ask you a question?
– Yes. – Do you hate the Ghostbusters?
– Uh, no, I don’t. – ‘Cause if you think about it,
you’re like a ghost zookeeper. – [Travis] Mm-hmm.
– And they’re basically like poachers. – Yeah, they just catch the ones
that get out, though. – Okay.
– Okay. I see. I got it. [Travis] Have you ever seen a ghost
on this tour? – Uh, yes, actually. Have you ever taste a ghost?
– [Justin] Now, what are you… – [Bobby] N-no…
– Why would you skip that story, to go to the “Did you taste a ghost?”
That was very clearly a setup… – Bobby very badly wants to tell us
about his ghost experience. – And then we’ll get to when he tasted it.
– The moment has passed, we’re fine. [Bobby] We are gonna start talking
about this building right over here. – Oh.
– Okay. – This building was purchased
in the 1850s by a plantation owner named Jean Baptiste LaPrete.
Now, he buys this place in order to have a place to socialize with his
economic peers. Which is a fancy way of saying he bought
a party house in the French quarter. – Cool.
– Cool. – What they find that day has been
described from that day to this one as a human salad. You see, the 20 young beautiful
men and women… – [Travis] Where was the lettuce from?
– …the fastest way for the police to determine the actual…
– Was it an accident? – They got accidentally saladed.
– Somebody slipped down the stairs, and that was it.
– I’ve got all these kni-ives! – The real kicker from this, is this
crime was never actually solved. – Folks, that’s what we’re going to be
doing this season of Ghost Mysteries. We’re going to be cracking this case
wide open. Over the next 12 hours, you’re going to watch as we investigate
every corner of this crime. – It’s actually his brother.
– Oh, really? – Yeah, one of his brothers had him killed
for squandering so much of their father’s wealth.
– Oh. – Wait, so how do you know that? – A couple years later, it came out
what really happened. – Okay, you said it was never solved!
– You just fucked up our whole season! – Do you think that people move into the–
hey, hello! – [Travis] Hi!
Have you ever seen a ghost? – No.
– Are you sure? – Yes.
– Would you know? – [Bobby] Guys, he’s been dead
for 30 years. – [Travis] Oh, no, another shoot! Oh, no! Our shoots are gonna– our shoots are
running into each other! – All right, guys. We’re gonna have ourselves
a chat about the Andrew Jackson hotel. This is one of the most famously haunted
hotels in the city of New Orleans. – [Griffin] Do they mind you standing
out here and talking shit about all the ghosts in their home? – Do they ever come out and they’re like,
“Hey, we told you to get out of here, Bobby.” “We’re trying to get business.” – Uh, in the late 1790s, this was not a
hotel. It was a home for boys that burned down
in the middle of the night. – Aw.
– Aw, man. Bobby, you got me so excited!
I was like, “A boy house?” – See, those little boys haunt this hotel
in the most little-boy way possible… – Fortnite. – They’re pranksters.
– Oh, okay. – I’m afraid you’re gonna get hit
by one of these cars, and then we’re gonna tell
your ghost story. “We had this kickass tour guide…”
– Well, that’s how the tour ends. – Oh, is that the tour ending?
You get killed every time. – It’s a great trick, but you
can only do it once. – This is the LaLaurie Mansion. Construction was completed on this building
in 1827 for Delphine LaLaurie. – Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost.
Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost. That window shade moved.
– [Justin] The window shade moved, everybody. That’s proof right there. – She was known for having long,
dark red hair — [window creaking] – Back at it again!
You mad lad. – Swung for you that time.
– Yeah. – Everybody who lives in this house
suffers some kind of way. And finally, in 2009, the house was
bought by a true national treasure. It’s bought by a man named Nicolas Cage.
– Oh, I see what you did there. I like that joke. – He was in a film called that exact thing.
– Oh, did you know that? – So, as that’s settled, the IRS shows up,
and goes, “Nicky Cage, “You owe us $15 million.
Pay that today.” – I also think, though, Bobby,
to be fair… I don’t think the ghost made him
not pay his taxes. – He told his ghost lawyer
to pay ’em for him. – Wesley Snipes heard that,
and he was like, “Uh, mine was ghosts, too!” – So the IRS uses the house. – And then the IRS dies… – Hey, Bobby?
– Yep? – Do you get distracted on this tour
when you DON’T smell weed? ‘Cause I feel like it would be easier… – I gotta be real honest. I have never not smelled weed
on this tour. – Yeah. Do you ever smell, like,
funnel cake or something, and you’re like, “What– woah!
Huh?”