Which Ghost Movie Was The Best (For The Ghosts)? (Casper, Ghostbusters, RIPD)

Which Ghost Movie Was The Best (For The Ghosts)? (Casper, Ghostbusters, RIPD)

November 9, 2019 100 By William Hollis


(techno music) – It’s a ridiculous question. – You mean it’s a ridiculous question because you don’t have an answer, or ’cause you don’t
believe in the afterlife? – No, it’s a ridiculous situation because I am not planning on dying. It’s like asking Superman
to stop being from space. He can’t stop being from space, Katie. Space is who he is. – Hey now, don’t diminish yourself. You’re more than just a
guy who’s never gonna die. – I wasn’t fishing, but thank you. – Okay, so then imagine,
somehow, that you do die. What kind of ghost would you wanna be? – Easy. Force ghost. – Like a Jedi? – Solid choice. – No, no, you can’t be a
force ghost, that’s cheating. You’d have to be a Jedi
for your whole life, and honestly that ship’s kinda sailed. – I still got time. Okay, fine I’d be a ghost cop. – Like a dead cop’s ghost,
or a policer of ghosts? – Have you guys seen R.I.P.D.? – This world’s for the living, and R.I.P.D’s gonna keep it that way. – Nope.
– N.O.P.D. – Okay, so, Ryan Reynolds dies, and because he wasn’t the most
upstanding person in life, he gets the opportunity to work for the Rest in Peace Department, where he just rounds up souls for heaven as a way to, like, clean his slate. – Like indentured servitude? – More like working off a debt. – So, indentured servitude? – Yeah, like the Tooth Fairy. – Anyway, if you’re in the R.I.P.D., you get to stay on earth for
at least another century, and you get to keep
doing all the same stuff you would do when you were alive. Plus, you get to be an
undercover ghost cop, and chase down illegal
ghosts with a ghost gun and other ghost toys, and a lot of props from “Men in Black” for some reason. – Can living people see you? – Yes, but you’re in disguise,
so you look like a supermodel or like, a girl scout, or beloved character actor James Hong. – Oh! Yeah! I have seen this. Isn’t Kevin Bacon in it? – [Soren] Yes. – Have you noticed that
the presence of Kevin Bacon in a movie doesn’t determine
whether it’s good or bad? – Wait, but at the end of that movie, Jeff Bridges and Ryan
Reynolds get put on suspension ’cause they let a ghost drop his disguise and go rampaging through the public. – Yeah, so? – Well, the terms of
the suspension are that if the higher powers that be decide to, they can fire Jeff and Ryan and completely erase them from existence. Also, all the guns they use shoot bullets that erase ghosts from existence, and all the bad guy ghosts have the same guns. So you’re risking complete oblivion every time you go out on
the job as a ghost cop, if you turn down the wrong
blind alley and get shot, or if you just get a
bad performance review. – I feel like you’re
being reductive to make me look foolish, but yeah, that
sounds like a nightmare. – Sorry, I’m late. Did you guys order without me? – See, I prefer Patrick Swayze in “Ghost.” – Ooh, good film. – Wait, you want to be a ghost from the saddest ghost movie ever made? – Yeah, I don’t find it sad. It’s more bittersweet. I mean, it’s the most hopeful ghosthood that exists in Hollywood. You get to hang out in spirit limbo. You get to meet interesting spirits. You get to help your loved
ones through a tough time. Plus you get to use your
ghost powers to thwart danger, and then you get to go into
Heaven like Patrick Swayze, roundhouse kick
helicoperting into eternity. – So it’s like freshman
orientation but for dead people. – Exactly. You get to make new friends
to help lessen the blow of losing your loved ones, and you get to beat Tony Goldwyn’s ass, and you get to kiss Demi Moore goodbye. Is it Demi Moor or Demi Moh-er? – Moor like Othello. – Anyway, there’s no
bureaucratic rule book. I mean, the only rule in Ghost is that if you’re a bad guy,
you get dragged into Hell by some shadow goblins, and frankly, you kind of already rolled
those dice when you were alive. – I do love to roll dice. I think I brought some, actually. – Why do you have dice? – They streamline every
decision-making process. – Wait a second. So your preferred version of the afterlife is just some esoteric waiting room where you and a bunch of dead strangers are powerlessly watching your
loved ones forget about you until you accidentally save
them from some tragedy. – Well, I feel like you’re
being a little reductive to make me look foolish, but yeah. – Ha ha! Found ’em. – Great. Do you think you could
roll them under the feet of our waitress when she comes back, to force her to stop and take my order? – See, I want to be the kind of ghost that gives her loved
ones closure to move on, not selfishly clinging
to this mortal realm, disguised as James Hong, who
is still alive, by the way. – Okay, so you help them move on. But then what? They get into Heaven after
living another 30 years, basically a whole lifetime without you? I mean, would they even want to see you, or would it just be horribly
painful for everyone? Ooh, would they even remember you? – I know, right? It’s like that song Eric Clapton
wrote about his dead kid. – Oh, Jesus. – Oh, I’m sorry, was that out of line? I used the dice. – No, it was on topic, it’s just sad. – Well, any spirited
discussion of the afterlife would be a miss without a mention of the Ghostbusters anyway. – [Narrator] Ghostbusters. – Hey, anybody see a ghost? – [Narrator] They catch the
ghosts that won’t stay dead. – That’s the kind of ghost I want to be. – You want to be a
ghost from Ghostbusters? Or you want to be the
ghost of a Ghostbuster? I want to just post my
statement busters, (beep) this. – Think about it. You can eat whatever you want. You never have to sleep. You can fly. It’s awesome. You get to read a bunch of books. – Hello. – No, better, you could go to
the movies for free, probably. You could wreck a bunch of (beep), commandeer public transport
without a license. I mean you basically
do whatever we would do to kill time anyway, except
you never have to sleep, and you never die. Again. I mean, you’d have to die the first time, when you become a ghost, you died, so. – Yeah, but you don’t get to have any meaningful interactions with people. I mean, you’re just stuck on Earth, goofing off by yourself forever. – That ghost ba-jay was deeply meaningful. – Plus you end up
looking like a terrifying mutant version of yourself. Like one of those awful caricatures they charge way too much
money for at amusement parks. God, I got burned. – And what about Casper? – The friendly ghost? – The friendliest ghost you know? He looks like a mutant. – Well, Casper explicitly takes place in the same universe as Ghostbusters. – Oh yeah, Dan Akroyd shows up as Dr. Raymond Stantz with a mustache. – And in Casper, all
the ghosts in the world can communicate with each other, on like a secret ghost channel. So I could just make a bunch
of ghost pals if I want. – Yeah, but he does carry
on a weird relationship bordering on felonious
obsession with Christina Ricci. – That’s right, he does have like a weird sexual interest in Christina Ricci. And, we find out from a
throwaway joke in the movie that ghosts have penises. – [High-Voiced Male Ghost] Who’s got their pointy head in my…? – [Deep-Voiced Male
Ghost] That’s not my head. – So ghosts could ostensibly have sex? – Ghost ba-jay. – Ooh, and Casper’s uncles hang out doing regular human stuff all the time. I mean, they go to the race track, they take Bill Pullman to a bar. They spend barely any time at the house that they are supposed to be haunting. – Starting to sound pretty sweet. Am I right? – Yeah, but the ghosts
are vulnerable to physics. You can get launched across the room with a toilet plunger
or sucked into a vacuum. Christina Ricci carries
around a Dustbuster, and it’s enough to
convince Casper’s uncles to stop screwing with her. – Yeah, I mean you wouldn’t even really need Ghostbusters, just
Joe and Jane homeowner could exorcize a restless
spirit with a home appliance. – Boover vacuums, boos that. – But not if you’re their friend, though. They’re not going to ghost
dust bust their friend. – Yeah, but Casper is not a good friend. He makes things awkward and weird for Christina Ricci all the time. And we find out at the end that he’d been haunting his
grieving father for so long that he literally drove the man insane. – So? Just because Casper sucks at it, doesn’t mean I will. I would be a great ghost pal. – None of us are nodding. – Okay, so we agree that no
ghost situation is ideal, but maybe Casper wins? – (gasps) – Yeah, I mean, I guess
in Casper you get the most freedom to interact with
the living and the dead. You can come and go as you please. There doesn’t seem to
be any governing board to banish you into nonexistence, and you just got to look
out for Dustbusters. – Dead kids all day. – Jesus, what is with you
and dead kids tonight? – Casper’s a dead kid. Look it up. – Look at her. I mean, she definitely sees me, right? I mean, I don’t want
to be rude and scream, but is it ruder to snap? That’s definitely worse, right? Do I clap? – Yeah, somebody should call Daniel. I mean, I think it’s a little weird that he wasn’t here an hour
early to reserve our table. – What? – Ah, I’m going to countermand
the dice and say no. – I’ve been texting him,
but he’s not responding. I just assumed he’s driving here. – Oh, I see what’s going on. You guys are Shyamalaning
me because we’ve been talking about ghosts for
the past ten minutes. I got you. Son of a bitch, I’m dead, aren’t I? – That means the answer would have something to do with Spiderman, right? – Probably. – Yes. Of course it would. – Didn’t Uncle Ben come back as a ghost? – No. What? No. – No, he came back as Martin Sheen. – Ah. Who’s Martin Sheen? – What? – [Michael] How funny would it be if Dan died on the way here? – [Dan] I’m remembering how I died, now. – [Michael] And that’s why he’s not here? Like what if he got in car crash. – [Dan] There was a
little girl in the road, and she was going to get hit by a car. – [Michael] That is hilarious. – [Katie] That would be so funny! – [Michael] It would
be like super fitting. – [Dan] Unrelated, a guy just stabbed me. I wasn’t going to help that girl.