YOU vs SLENDERMAN – Can You Survive And Defeat The Imaginary Internet Demon

October 2, 2019 0 By William Hollis


One day you’re at your computer looking over
video you shot with your buddies while just hanging out and messing around. Suddenly in the footage you spot something
strange- there, in the background, it looks almost like a figure standing just out of
view. You zoom in and can barely make out a tall-
freakishly tall- humanoid shape, but it could just be the pixelation and shadows messing
with your eyes. You ignore it, but then over the next few
days you start noticing that same freakishly tall figure out of the corner of your eye,
and it seems to be everywhere you go: school, home, the mall… One day you pretend to be snapping a selfie,
hoping to catch a photo of the mysterious figure in the distance, and upon looking at
the photo you feel your blood run cold as you can clearly see the abnormally tall figure
standing just a few dozen feet behind you. Rushing home you start to do some research
and feel your stomach sink when you realize that your worst fears are true: you are being
stalked by the Slenderman. Hello and welcome to another episode of The
Infographics Show’s You Versus- today we’re putting you up against the subconsciously
created Slenderman. First though, just what the hell is this strange
creature? Well, Slenderman is believed to be a casualty
of the Tulpa Effect, or a Buddhist-themed ideology that states if enough people all
share the same belief, it can manifest as reality in our world. Some people believe that the Tulpa Effect
is what is responsible for things such as ghosts, bigfoot, and even alien abductions-
with a shared belief amongst so many people physically manifesting these things in the
real world. Adherents to the theory believe that reality
is what we perceive of it, and the reason why fire is hot and ice is cold is because
enough of us believe it is, and if we stopped, then the properties of both would change. Existence is thus an exercise of continued
belief, and if enough people were to stop believing in it, it would cease to be. As a product of the Tulpa Effect, Slenderman’s
abilities can be hard to pin down because they are typically ever-changing as new beliefs
about him- or it- are added to the current mythos. Physically, Slenderman stands well over six
feet tall and is always dressed in what appears to be a smart-looking suit and tie. His freakish height is exaggerated by arms
that are long enough for his hands to reach his knees like a gorilla, yet he stands fully
erect like a man. The fingers of each hand are extremely long
and bony, adding to his garish and nightmarish appearance. As his name suggests, Slenderman is also very
gaunt, and what is most unnerving is that he lacks any facial features whatsoever- no
eyes, mouth, ears or nose. His face is simply a blank space, almost like
a man wearing a white sack over their head. Originally Slenderman could sprout tentacles
from his body, or simply change his current limbs to tentacles, which he could use to
seize or beat prey into submission. He is also able to move extremely quickly,
though seems to prefer to simply teleport from one location to another- which we can’t
blame him on, as it would definitely be our preferred way of travel as well. His strength is greater than an adult human,
despite his slender build, and he seems to be completely invulnerable to all forms of
damage- which is going to make this a tough fight indeed. Though nobody knows Slenderman’s true origins,
it is known that he is a predator and seems to feed on human fear- much like a demon. However unlike a demon he cannot be harmed
by religious symbols or holy water, and the practice of true faith seems to have little
to no effect on deterring his persistent attacks. This leads many to believe that Slenderman
is in fact a physical being, though possibly not from our own plane of existence. Some think Slenderman is an interdimensional
parasite, who pops into our existence in order to find hosts to feed off. Others believe that Slenderman is an alien,
manipulating individuals for some secretive agenda. Whatever his origins, it is known that one
clear way to pinpoint Slenderman’s presence is through the use of electronic devices such
as radios and cameras, which will all begin to malfunction while in his presence. So you’re up against a poorly defined creature-
or not a creature, we honestly don’t know- which is invulnerable to all damage and takes
pleasure in tormenting its victims for days, weeks, or even months and years before killing
them. How are you going to defeat it? Sadly, guns and explosives aren’t going to
do you much good here. Neither are religious symbols or true faith-
so we’re going to have to tackle Slenderman with his own weapons, we’re going to have
to tap directly into the Tulpa Effect. Luckily you have time on your side, as Slenderman
prefers to drag out the process of killing its prey, likely so as to increase the fear
and paranoia of his chosen prey which might strengthen Slenderman somehow. First, you’re going to have to guard yourself
against Slenderman’s constant terrifying encounters, meant to incite paranoia and fear, so take
up a nice relaxing routine every day and take advice from US special forces operators to
defeat your fears: picture what you’re afraid of- in this case, Slenderman- in every horrible
situation possible. Meditate on everything that could go wrong-
again, in this case Slenderman eating your soul- and replay it vividly in your imagination
over and over again. You’ll find that as you do this simple mental
exercise your brain becomes accustomed to the possibilities of fear, and when it experiences
fear again it’s better able to shrug it off. Next, it’s time to get viral and tap into
the Tulpa Effect. Slenderman likely exists only because so many
people believe that it exists, and the internet is wholly responsible for its creation. You’re going to need to get net savvy and
start your own viral trend, this time focused on things or ways to defeat Slenderman. It’s far too late to simply try to convince
people Slenderman doesn’t exist- too many already believe it does- but you can add to
the Slenderman mythos and create ways in which it can be defeated. When enough people start to accept that Slenderman
can be defeated by the way you come up with, then suddenly this supernatural stalker is
going to find itself with a crippling Achille’s Heel. What you come up with that can defeat Slenderman
however has to play into the pre-existing mythos, or nobody is going to accept it as
canon, so unfortunately you can’t come up with something completely ridiculous like
Slenderman explodes if it comes into contact with kittens. Or can you? The Tulpa Effect makes what people believe
into reality, so if you’re a smooth enough operator and can get enough people to accept
that Slenderman indeed has an explosive allergy to kittens, then congratulations, because
you’re one kitten-cannon away from defeating this ultimate evil. In essence in order to defeat Slenderman you’re
going to have to hack its very reality by reshaping people’s beliefs about him, which
is kind of the coolest way to defeat anything ever. And if you do manage to convince people Slenderman
explodes if it comes in contact with kittens, well, remember that aforementioned kitten-cannon? You’re going to need a few feet of PVC pipe,
a container for convenient kitten storage, and an air compressor. Simply fill a small steel oxygen storage tank
with compressed air- 165 pounds per square inch would do- and connect the oxygen tank
to the PVC pipe with a simple valve. Next, load a kitten into your pvc pipe- or
several kittens for a shotgun like blast- and then trigger your gas valve. Congratulations, you have a bonafide kitten-firing
Slenderman killing shotgun. Or I suppose you could just convince people
Slenderman doesn’t exist. Unless it convinces people you don’t exist
first! How would you defeat Slenderman? Let us know in the comments! And as always if you enjoyed this video don’t
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